KKC
by Kile Terro
Summary: KKC (Kile, Kuja, and Cloud) is about Kile's need for roommates......and their cartoon like antics.
1. ShaiHulud

_________________________________________________________________________________________________  
KKC (Kile, Kuja, and Cloud)  
by:  
Kile Terro and animemaster  
_________________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
animemaster wears a black Saija-jin fusion vest, blue jeans, has black Heero Yuy like hair, dragon wings under the vest, and a monkey tail and at the end of it it branches out to create two ends  
  
Kile is sitting upon the stairs in his apartment building  
  
Kile: I can't believe Kid's been evicted....over a little noise...  
  
animemaster walks up behind him  
  
animemaster: "Oh, God, Kile, yeaaah!!" isn't really a LITTLE noise...especially at 2:00 AM.  
  
Kile: ONCE! THAT HAPPENED ONCE!!!! ........The rest were at 3:00....  
  
animemaster: AM or PM?  
  
Kile: Both...and FM and XM.  
  
animemaster: ....  
  
Kile: And on top of all this--  
  
animemaster: What?  
  
Kile: Let me finish, you twin tailed, mutated, monkey sniffing, winged pack of cow dung!  
  
animemaster: ....Touche.  
  
Kile: I'M gonna have to move out...  
  
animemaster: Why the hell why?  
  
Kile: I can't pay the bills!! *Cries*  
  
animemaster: SNAP OUT OF IT, MAN!!!!!  
  
animemaster hits him  
  
Kile: ...I needed that....I'll kill you later...  
  
animemaster: ....Yeah, yeah, yeah....I know....I know.  
  
Kile: Maybe we should have, um, interviews for new roomates for me!  
  
animemaster: We are NOT gonna start a new interviews fic for just this.  
  
Kile: No, in this story! I'll put it in the paper--  
  
animemaster: What? "Local idiot seeks concubine?"  
  
Kile: Look, I've tried that before, and all I got was a transvestite hooker knocking on my front door. Took me half a dozen cannonball blasts to get rid of him...her? It?  
  
animemaster: ...  
  
SO IT BEGINS  
  
Kile: Name?  
  
Rei: ..............................Rei.  
  
Kile: ....Why do you want to live here?  
  
Rei: ........................................................................................................................................................................................................It's close to the strip club.  
  
Kile: Hmm....Heheh..  
  
Kile begins "sizing her up"  
  
Rei: I'm a cook there, you pervert!  
  
Kile: Ohh........Next, please.  
  
NEXT  
  
Kile: Name?  
  
Quatre: Quatre!  
  
Kile: No-no-no-no!!! No yaois!  
  
Quatre cries and leaves  
  
animemaster: You're no fun, you could've hung out with your own kind.  
  
Kile: I can't when selecting good roomates--and did you just call me gay???!!!  
  
animemaster: Took you this long to figure that out?!  
  
Kile: Grr....  
  
Someone walks in  
  
???: Is this where you get interviewed for the roomate thing--KILE!!!   
  
Kile: Huh? Oh, hey, man, what's up?  
  
He sits down  
  
Kuja: Nothing.  
  
Kile: Why do you want to live here?  
  
Kuja: ....It's....uh...(C'mon think!!!!)...uh...close to the bar?  
  
Kile: BINGO!!! You're hired or whatever it is I should say!  
  
animemaster: He has SUCH a wide vocabulary...  
  
Kile: We still need ONE more....  
  
animemaster: NEXT!!!!  
  
Kenny walks in  
  
Kile: YOU'RE IN!!!!  
  
Kenny: MPH MPH!!!  
  
Kile is outside   
  
Kile: We have decided my roomates!  
  
animemaster: God help us all.  
  
Kile: Kuja!  
  
Kuja: YEAH!  
  
Kile: And......KENNY!!!  
  
Kenny jumps out from behind Kile and does a victory dance  
  
Kile: Go, Kenny, Go!!  
  
Kenny does a backflip down a cliff at the end of his victory dance and hits numerous jagged, flesh searing rocks, at the bottom a giant condor swoops down and drives it's talons in Kenny's skull, picks him up and flies off into the sunset, Kenny hits SEVERAL telephone poles and then is dropped several miles away and at his drop point a mushroom cloud is seen and a large shock wave is felt  
  
Eminem appears  
  
Eminem: Mushroom cloud?  
  
Eminem disappears  
  
animemaster: That was new...  
  
Kile: I wonder if I should have put that atomic bomb in Kenny's back pocket? Oh, well, at the least the Feds didn't find it. It may be a month or two longer before I get to live my greatest dream.  
  
animemaster/Kuja: What?  
  
Kile: Holdin' up a strip bar!  
  
Kuja falls over anime style and animemaster strangles Kile like Homer Simpson  
  
Kuja: Shouldn't you be dead already?  
  
Kile: I'm...already dead! This doesn't even really hurt...  
  
animemaster: Let's see if THIS hurts!  
  
animemaster, while strangling him, kicks him in the balls  
  
Kuja appears under a spotlight wearing a very comfortable announcer jacket and announcer shirt and holding a sportcasters microphone  
  
Kuja: I don't care whether you're alive or dead; THAT HURTS!!! Isn't that right Jim? Jim? JIM, WHERE ARE YOU????  
  
Kile gets out of animemaster's strangling grasp and lightly hits Kuja...although that is a knockout blow, and then goes back into animemaster's grasp  
  
Kuja wakes up  
  
Kuja: Looks like we need a new roomate.  
  
The abuse ends  
  
Kile reaches inside the apartment building and pulls Cloud out  
  
Kile: Not now! Since Cloud's around!  
  
animemaster: idontknowjack2000 is SO gonna have our asses for breakfast....Augh, look, I know you need to settle in, so....I'm gonna get as far away from here as I can.  
  
The three go inside  
  
Kuja: Kile?  
  
Kile: Yeah?  
  
Kuja: Why is there a white sticky mucus all over the walls and floor....and ceiling????  
  
Kile: My girlfriend moved out and we wanted to at make our last experience enjoyable.  
  
Cloud: So you f%^$ed on the walls, floor, and ceiling?  
  
Kile (Half in tears): Yeah.  
  
HALF AN HOUR LATER  
  
Kuja is bringing in boxes  
  
Kile: Just what are in these boxes?  
  
Kuja: Porn. Lots and lots of porn.  
  
Kile: .....Cool.  
  
Cloud: CAN I SEE??????  
  
Kuja: NO! ....Augh....And I'm a guy...  
  
Cloud: .......Oh.  
  
Cloud fixes his pants to where his masculinity won't show he's enticed  
  
Kile: ...Uhhh........  
  
They finish settling in  
  
Kile: Now...down to business.  
  
Kile flips the television onto the Sci-Fi Channel, lies down on the couch and falls asleep  
  
Cloud: What's he doing?  
  
Kuja: Kuja-Kuja thinks he's taking a nap.  
  
Cloud hits Kuja  
  
Cloud: WRONG FIC!!!!  
  
Kuja: Ah.....Ohhhh.............  
  
Kuja looks at the television  
  
Kuja: I think I see something!  
  
Cloud: It's called a T.V., they give images of all sorts of things...children's programming, anime, porn, anime porn.....   
  
Kuja: I know what a T.V. is! But look!  
  
Cloud: Whoa....SWEET!!!  
  
A beautiful young girl is half seen in the screen  
  
Kuja: Sexy girl not part of program.  
  
The girl signals for Kuja to follow her  
  
Kuja starts to walk over to the television then Cloud stops him  
  
Cloud: No, man! What if it's a succubus?  
  
Kuja doensn't hesitate and jumps into the television disappearing into it  
  
Cloud: .....Maybe I shouldn't have said that.  
  
Kile wakes up  
  
Kile: *Yawn* What did I miss?  
  
Cloud: Kuja was just taken by a succubus!  
  
Kile: Lucky S.O.B..  
  
Cloud: We gotta save him! He jumped inside the T.V.!  
  
Kile: Screw it! He's dispensable.  
  
Cloud: Uh...Uh....He took the porn with him......?   
  
Kile: SWEET MERCIFUL GOD, NOT THE PORN!!!!  
  
Kile jumps up and runs into another room  
  
Cloud (Sarcastic): ....Hahh...Great.....Kuja's been abducted by a sex demoness and Kile's committing suicide probably....  
  
Kile emerges in a thin purple turtleneck, purple pants, NO bandanna, and his anime glasses  
  
Cloud: What the HELL'S with you?!  
  
Kile: I must be prepared for espionage!  
  
Cloud: ...Let's just go, "Plasma Snake."  
  
Kile and Cloud enter the television  
  
They emerge in the Sci-Fi Channel main database  
  
Kile: DAMN!!! NO!!! My enemies!!! They've tricked me!!  
  
Cloud: You mean Sci-Fi? I thought they were your friends.  
  
Kile: They stropped showing the anime. Now I'm pissed!!!  
  
Kile slices at everything with the Rakitora which he pulled out of nowhere  
  
All goes black after Kile slices everything away  
  
All that can be seen is their eyes  
  
Cloud: Nice going, dumbass!  
  
Kile: What?  
  
Cloud: You've gotten us all killed!  
  
Kile: Sure you don't mean "You've gotten us all Kiled?" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!  
  
Cloud: Screw you!  
  
Kile: I hold the key to your demise!  
  
Cloud: The hell you do!  
  
Kile: I'll prove it!  
  
Kile jingles keys  
  
Kile: Front door, back door--  
  
Cloud: You don't have a back door!  
  
Kile: My room, your room, Kuja's room, porn stash--Ah-Hah! Cloud's Demise!  
  
Kile chases Cloud with the key  
  
Cloud: You crazy BASTARD!!!  
  
The light comes back on and they're in space...not on a ship but in space  
  
Kile: SHIT!!!  
  
Cloud: Look! I'm swimming!  
  
Cloud is swimming in space  
  
Kile: How're you breathing?  
  
Cloud: You are.  
  
Kile breathes in  
  
Kile: You're right!  
  
A ship flies by and causes them to spin around and fly offcourse  
  
Kile: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Cloud: .....What should I say? Oh. SHAI-HULUD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
A giant sandworm appears and devours Cloud  
  
Kile stops flying away  
  
Kile: Whuh-oh.  
  
The sandworm swims in space singing its mating song  
  
Sandworm: LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR!! LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR!! LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOOOOOOOOO-AAAHHHHRRRRR!!  
  
Kile: Drowing Pool has taken over the un/iverse! Great Scott!! Whoever he is.  
  
Kile flies toward the sadworm  
  
Kile: Throw up my friend!!! He hasn't paid his part of the biiiillllsss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Sandworm: Oh! Good day! Have you perchance seen a young lady around here?  
  
Kile: ...A fruity sandworm.  
  
Sandworm: Cherry!  
  
Kile: Can I have my friend back?  
  
Sandworm: Give me a minute.  
  
Kile: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SMELL??????!!!!!!  
  
Sandworm: You said you wanted him back. You didn't say how.  
  
Cloud: You don't feel real low until you've been shat by a sandworm.  
  
Kile: Shat? Shitted? Why are we discussing the pronounciation of a curse's past tense form?  
  
Cloud: Feelings! Whoa-oh-oh feelings!  
  
Kile: Come, Shifty Shat.  
  
Cloud: Stinking like a...well...I don't know what.  
  
Kile: Godzilla?  
  
Sandworm: Yeeeeesssss?  
  
Kile: Doko Arigato.  
  
Sandworm: WHAT ABOUT MY MOTHER???!!!!  
  
Kile: ARGH!  
  
Cloud: Son of a--  
  
Sandworm: MEESA SO PIIISSSEEEDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Kile: Let's just get the hell outta here!  
  
Cloud: Where is the hell?  
  
Kile grabs Cloud's arm  
  
Kile: Damn, you stink.  
  
Cloud: I bet you say that to all the boys....  
  
Kile: -_-' Screw you.  
  
Cloud: Shai-Hulud did a good job of that!  
  
Sandworm: Twas a bonny time!  
  
Kile: Wait. I thought you were trying to kill us?  
  
Sandworm: Oh, yeah! ROAR!!!  
  
Cloud: You just HAD to get him started.  
  
Kile and Cloud fly off  
  
Kile: The things I do for porn!  
  
They crash down on a barren desert planet  
  
Kile: We're on Arrakis!  
  
Cloud: Arrakis?  
  
A sandworm appears and eats Kile  
  
Kile (Inside its belly): SSHHIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Cloud: No, Shai-Hulud!   
  
Cloud slaps the sandworm on the head and it coughs up Kile  
  
Kile: ....  
  
People with deep blue within light blue eyes appear  
  
Guy 1: He attacks Gods.  
  
Guy 2: And wins.  
  
They carry off Cloud  
  
Kile: Son of a--  
  
Kile follows  
  
They enter a cavern  
  
Kile: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! Death by stalactites!  
  
Cloud: Will you calm down?  
  
Kile: How can I calm down when monkeys have taken Japan and raised the price of sushi???!!!  
  
Cloud: Shut up!  
  
Kile looks at the natives  
  
Kile: FREMEN!!! Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee--  
  
2 hours later  
  
Kile: --eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!!!!  
  
Cloud: Congrats, Kile, you've officially made an ass of yourself to fifth world people.  
  
Kile: Colin Powell gonna bomb-a his home.  
  
Fremen 1: Feelings...nothing more than feelings.  
  
Cloud: What do you plan on doing with me.  
  
Fremen 2: We plan on making you the Naib, having you die in a meaningless battle, then drain the last drop of moisture from your body, then publishing a book about it!  
  
Kile: Lucky...  
  
The current Naib runs in  
  
Naib: The Canadians are coming!! The Canadians are coming!!  
  
A Fremen kills him  
  
Fremen 3: Now you are Naib, Cloud.  
  
Cloud: No, thanks, I'm full.  
  
The dead Naib ressurects himself  
  
Naib: Alright, bye.  
  
Naib leaves  
  
Kile: GGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDFFFFFFFFFFAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Cloud: Why did you scream "Grandfather?"  
  
Kile: Why do you wear purple?  
  
Cloud: It makes me all warm and squishy inside....  
  
All is dark and all that can be seen is Kile and Cloud's eyes  
  
Kile: I'm scared!  
  
Cloud: LET GO OF ME!!!  
  
Kile: ...That's...not me...  
  
Cloud: Huh???  
  
BOTH: *GULP*  
  
The lights come back on and they are in the girl's bath in the Masaki Household with Sasami clutching Cloud  
  
All the girls rush to Cloud  
  
Kile: ..... -_-  
  
Ryo-Ohki lies down on Kile's head  
  
Kile: RYO-OHKI!!! ^_^  
  
Ryo-Ohki: MYAO! MYAO!  
  
Cloud: ....Who's hands are in my pants?  
  
Kile: Uh..  
  
Kile looks over at Cloud  
  
Kile: The better question would be "Who's hands AREN'T in your pants?"  
  
Cloud: SASAMI!!! Stop that!!!  
  
The lights go out again  
  
Kile: Feelings...nothing more than fee--  
  
Cloud: WILL YOU SHUT UP?????!!!!!  
  
The lights come on  
  
Kile: Bloody hell are we?  
  
They are on The Enterprise  
  
Kirk: We-are-being-in-vaded. Mr.-Sulu?  
  
Sulu: Sir?  
  
Kirk: Get-my-speech-teach-er-in-here. QUICK-LY!!!  
  
Sulu: yessir.  
  
Kile: Well.....  
  
Cloud: Why the hell are we here.  
  
Kile: Uh....Fee--  
  
Cloud: DON'T SAY IT!!!!  
  
Kile: ......  
  
Kirk: KLING-ONS!!!!  
  
Kile: Should've wiped better, Kirky.  
  
Kirk: Set-phasers-to-KILL.  
  
Kile: Sure you don't mean "Set phasers to KILE?" HAHAHAHHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
They fire at Kile and an explosion is seen  
  
Kile: Am I alive?  
  
Cloud: No.  
  
Kile: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Cloud: You weren't to begin with.  
  
Kile: Oh, yeah....Bye, James Tiberius Kirk!  
  
Kirk: ....MO-THER!!!!!!!  
  
The lights go out  
  
Cloud: I think I'm starting to understand this...You've gotten us sent into everything that Sci-fi's ever shown!  
  
Kile: ....Sleepy Kile......ZzZzZzZzZzZzZz..........  
  
The lights go on and they are in space AGAIN  
  
Kile: Huh? *Yawn*  
  
A train hits them  
  
Conducter: Spacekill. Tetsuro? I think we just hit machine people.  
  
Tetsuro: MAETEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Tetsuro runs away crying  
  
The Offspring appear  
  
Dexter Holland: My friend's got a boyfriend, man, she hates that d***.  
  
Kile: Dexter Holland????  
  
Kile jumps up into the engine room  
  
Kile: Can you sign this, Mr. Holland?  
  
Kile holds out the Rakitora  
  
Dexter: I'm not even sure if I can pick it up!  
  
Kile: 500 tons'll do that to you.  
  
Dexter: 500 TONS???  
  
Kile: My vest alone weighs 2000.  
  
Dexter: Uh...  
  
Dexter signs the sword  
  
Kile: Now--wait where's Cloud?  
  
Cloud is still clinging to the front of the train  
  
Cloud: .......Tifa......help.....  
  
Kile: Feelings...nothing more than feelings.  
  
Dexter Holland and the rest of The Offspring join in  
  
Dexter: Imagine--  
  
Dexter hits Kile in the head  
  
Dexter: Beating on YOUR face--  
  
Kile: Trying to forget my feelings of raaaaaape.  
  
Dexter: The line is "Trying to forget my feelings of hate."  
  
Kile: ...It was until I met Love Hina's Naru!  
  
Cloud enters  
  
Cloud: Hahh.....hahh.......whew....  
  
Kile: Where've YOU been?  
  
Cloud: Hell.  
  
Kile: How was the family?  
  
Cloud: Fine. Heat is getting to them.  
  
Kile: Dexter?  
  
Dexter: Yes?  
  
Kile: Join us in our search!  
  
Dexter: No, thanks--  
  
Kile: We're searching for a succubus--  
  
Dexter: On second thought, sure.  
  
The lights go out and all that can be seen are the heroes' eyes...like every other time  
  
Dexter: Where does this succubus live?  
  
Kile: Hell if I know.  
  
Cloud: It took our friend Kuja.  
  
Kile: AND HE TOOK THE PORN WITH HIM!!!!!!!!  
  
The lights come on and their in the middle of a street  
  
All is quiet  
  
Kile: Hm...  
  
Cloud: Something's weird.  
  
Dexter: I sure hope noone thinks I'm the Dexter from Dexter's Lab.  
  
Cloud: Noone's THAT dumb.  
  
Kile walks over to the sidewalk  
  
Cloud: What're you doing???  
  
Kile points to the right (His left)  
  
The is a large puff of dust in the distance which closes in quickly  
  
It runs over Cloud and Dexter  
  
Kile chases after the speed demon  
  
After breaking the speed barrier a few times over  
  
Kile: What IS that thing???  
  
Kile slowly catches up  
  
Kile: ???  
  
A girl with red hair  
  
She looks at him  
  
Girl: EEEEEEEKKKKKKK!!!!!!  
  
She hits him over the head with the blonde girl she had in tow  
  
Kile: SON OF A--  
  
Kile falls down  
  
Cloud and Dexter appear  
  
Cloud: Kile?  
  
Dexter: You okay? What WAS that???  
  
Kile: Eiko, A-Ko. Whatever you wish to call her....We are in the Project A-Ko! To Graviton High!  
  
Cloud: Why?  
  
Kile: Plot purposes.  
  
The reach Graviton High  
  
Kile enters the vent  
  
Cloud: What school has a vent on the outside?  
  
Dexter and Kile (From in the vent): Don't look a gift horse in the foot.  
  
Cloud: -_-;  
  
Kile continues inside the vent  
  
Kile (Singing in a deep voice): Old Man River--Ooh!  
  
Kile looks down from the opening that allows air to enter rooms  
  
It's the girl's locker room  
  
The girls are in towels  
  
Kile's nose starts bleeding  
  
The blood falls to the floor in the locker room  
  
Girl: IT'S A PERVERT!!!  
  
All the girls scream   
  
For quite a while huge amounts of a sticky white substance falls from the vent  
  
Then stops as Kile leaves  
  
Kile comes out of the vent on the outside  
  
Kile: Guys, if you decide to watch girls in the locker rooms NEVER carry gallons of sour milk.  
  
Cloud: ???  
  
Kile: Don't ask. Huh? Where's Dex?  
  
Cloud: He's talking with that girl over there.  
  
A-Ko: He has red hair and--  
  
Dexter points over at Kile  
  
Kile: Sell out.  
  
A-Ko walks over to Kile  
  
Kile puts white bandanna over his eyes and a cigarette in his mouth  
  
Cloud hums funeral march  
  
Kile lifts the bandanna  
  
A-Ko flashes him  
  
Kile: O___O (OH, HAPPY DAY!!!)  
  
Cloud: Why the hell--  
  
Kile: Don't look a gift horse in the foot.  
  
A-Ko: In other words, I wish to join your party.  
  
Kile: Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe--  
  
5 hours later  
  
Kile: --heheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheh.   
  
Kile picks up A-Ko and begins to walk off  
  
A-Ko: WHAT THE HELL'RE YOU DOING???  
  
A-Ko punches Kile and he goes flying into the distance  
  
3 hours later  
  
Kile comes in flying from the other way and falls in front of the heroes  
  
Kile: Ah.......  
  
A-Ko: Serves the perv right.  
  
Dexter: Wasn't it YOU who flashed him?  
  
A-Ko punches Dexter...and the same thing happens with him as it did with Kile  
  
After a fews hours of this, the lights go out and the heroes' eyes are all that's seen  
  
A-Ko: What is goin' on???  
  
Kile: We didn't pay the electric bill is my guess.  
  
Cloud: Damn Entergy.  
  
Dexter: I gotta go to the bathroom!  
  
Kile: Will you be quiet?  
  
The lights come on  
  
Kile: Look!  
  
They are in a rocky landscape, no grass or anything, but there IS a castle there  
  
Kile: I bet that's where the succubus lives!  
  
Dexter: What makes you say that?  
  
Kile: That's what it says right there.  
  
Kile points to a sign that says "This castle is property of the succubus'  
  
Cloud (Sarcastically): Well....that was sure discreet.  
  
Kile: Wasn't it, though?  
  
They walk up to the castle and hear screams  
  
Kuja: DON'T!!!!!!!!! STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
They all rush inside  
  
Kuja is hanging from ropes in the main hall of the castle being seduced by the succubus  
  
Kile: We're hear to save you!  
  
Kuja: Don't stop, Arisa!!!!!  
  
Kile: So...he was yelling "Don't stop???"  
  
Dexter: That's...what it seems.  
  
Kuja: What are YOU people doing here???  
  
Kile: We're here to save you!  
  
Kuja: Over my dead body! I'm not leaving!  
  
Kile: Over my living body!  
  
Kuja: That can be arranged--wait, that makes no sense.  
  
Cloud: Kuja! What is going on in here?  
  
Kuja: I'm am the sex slave of a succubus! My life's dream!  
  
A-Ko: ....WHY are you saving this guy Kile?  
  
Kile: He took the porn with him.  
  
Kuja: I took no porn!  
  
Kile: Cloud!!!  
  
Cloud: Uh-oh.  
  
Kile: You lied!  
  
Cloud: .................  
  
Arisa (The Succubus): Kuja is MINE!!!!  
  
Kile: What is your fascination with Kuja?  
  
Arisa: ...Uh....Dunno. I get lonely!  
  
Dexter: I will sacrifice myself.  
  
Kile: Huh?  
  
Dexter: Take Kuja with you...I will stay with the young, blonde succubus...  
  
Arisa: ............................................................................Alright!  
  
Arisa releases Kuja and he dresses  
  
They all leave with the sounds of whips and screams of pleasure behind them  
  
They return home  
  
They are sitting at the kitchen table  
  
Kile: We have returned unscathed  
  
Kuja is crying on the table  
  
Cloud: It's alright, Kuja...  
  
Kuja: .....I miss Arisa!  
  
A-Ko: Why am I here?  
  
Cloud: I wonder how Dex is doing?  
  
Dex appears in the television  
  
Dexter: Thank you!   
  
Kuja: DEXTER!!!!!!!!!  
  
Kuja lunges at Dexter  
  
Kile: He couldn't POSSIBLY enter the T.V. again!  
  
Kuja enters the television and begins choking Dexter Holland  
  
Kile: Of course...I could be wrong....Cloud? Get the tazer.  
  
_________________________________________________________________________________________________  
END  
_________________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
HOW IT ALL FITS TOGETHER  
  
The Fremen and the sandworms (Including Shai-Hulud) were part of "Dune" which was shown on the Sci-fi channel.  
  
"Tenchi in Love" was shown on the Sci-fi channel.  
  
The Conducter and Tetsuro were on "Galaxy Express 999" and "Adieu Galaxy Express 999" which was shown on the Sci-fi channel.  
  
Dexter Holland of The Offspring was in the movie "Idle Hands" which was shown of the Sci-fi channel.  
  
and  
  
A-Ko was on "The Project A-Ko" which was shown on the Sci-fi channel. 


	2. Kile Mobile!

_________________________________________________________________________________________________  
KKC  
by:  
Kile Terro  
_________________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Kile is asleep on the couch  
  
Kuja is sleeping on the kitchen table  
  
Cloud is nowhere to be seen  
  
A-Ko is returning from her job  
  
A-Ko: YOU STILL AREN'T AWAKE????!!!! LAZY BASTARDS!!!!  
  
This woke them up  
  
A-Ko: WHY AREN'T YOU AT WORK????!!!!  
  
Kuja: Huh? *Yawn* I don't work 'til night.  
  
A-Ko: What about YOU Kile?  
  
Kile: Uh...I am not at liberty to divulge information on my job.  
  
A-Ko: No job...just as I thought.  
  
Kile: I have a job! I just can't...tell you...what it is.  
  
Kuja: What's so bad about hosting a talk show?  
  
Kile: I have a PAYING job.  
  
A-Ko: At least Cloud is more reliable. He's already gone to work. Messy, messy, messy.  
  
Kuja: She sounds like you!  
  
A-Ko opens the dishwasher to put in some dirty dishes and Cloud falls out  
  
Kile: So THAT'S his job...checking dishes!  
  
A-Ko picks up Cloud and tosses him out a window  
  
A blood-curdling scream is heard followed by a thud  
  
Kile: .....Whoa.....  
  
Footsteps running up the stairs are heard  
  
The door opens  
  
Cloud: I want a rematch!  
  
Kile: Tomorrow. I wanna sell tickets.  
  
Kuja: Is THAT your day job?  
  
Kile: No. But, I DO need to get to the set. See you!  
  
Kile leaves  
  
A-Ko: Where is he going?  
  
animemaster crashes through the wall  
  
animemaster: ME WANT FOOOOOOOOOOOOD--Oh, hey, a girl!  
  
animemaster grabs A-Ko, lets his dragon wings out and the dragon monkey boy flies off  
  
Cloud: We must save her!  
  
Kuja: Uh...  
  
Cloud: To the batmobile!  
  
Kuja: It's in the shop.  
  
Cloud: Then....To the eggplantmobile!  
  
Kuja: Sorry, Mr. Magoo.  
  
Cloud: .....To the--  
  
Kuja: In the shop.  
  
Cloud: Then what isn't???  
  
Kuja: The Kilemobile!  
  
They suddenly appear in a cavern where a red car sits with a monkey tail like structure on the back, and a white skull and crossbones on the black top  
  
Cloud: THIS is the Kilemobile?!  
  
Kuja: Of course.  
  
They get in  
  
Cloud: ....Which way do we go?  
  
Kuja: Well.....That-a-way!  
  
Kuja points everywhere  
  
Kuja: Over here, over there, over here, over there, over here, over there, No! Over here!  
  
Cloud hits him  
  
Cloud: Shaddap.  
  
The Kilemobile starts up and crashes through a wall  
  
The speed at which it travels causes the skin on Kuja and Cloud's faces to flap  
  
Kuja's tongue leaves his mouth and his hanging out his mouth flying in the wind  
  
Kuja: Ah!  
  
The Kilemobile suddenly stops  
  
Kuja and Cloud's heads bang against the dashboard  
  
Cloud: .......Ow...  
  
Kuja: I agree...Ow!  
  
The get out of the Kilemobile  
  
Kuja: Oh, shit!  
  
Cloud: AW, MAN!!!  
  
Kuja: How far did we GO???!!!  
  
They are in the middle of a desert  
  
Cloud: How the hell should I know???  
  
Kuja goes back to the Kilemobile as does Cloud  
  
They enter  
  
Cloud: Let's just get out of here.  
  
It won't start  
  
He tries again...and again...and again  
  
Kuja: Well...we're screwed.  
  
Cloud: You can say that again.  
  
Kuja: Well...we're screwed.  
  
Cloud: That was a figure of speech.  
  
Kuja: ........Oh.  
  
Cloud: We must now trek!  
  
Kuja: Why?  
  
Cloud: Plot purposes.  
  
Kuja: Cool.  
  
They walk for hours  
  
Kuja: ..........Y'know?  
  
Cloud: Do I know what?  
  
Kuja: Where we are?  
  
Cloud: NO!! I already told you! All's--  
  
Kuja: "All's???"  
  
Cloud: Yes, "All's." All's I know is the Spirit World is a blue barren landscape with the exception of the buildings, Kile's Refuge, Bullet Train, the mountains, and the one forest up north. I don't ever remember anything about a desert.  
  
Kuja: Ya do now!  
  
Cloud: I sure hope we don't see Shai-Hulud.  
  
Rumbling is felt  
  
Cloud: WORMSIGN!!!!  
  
They both run  
  
Ripples appear in the sand following Kuja and Cloud  
  
Kuja: SHIT, SHIT, SHIT, SHIIIIT!!!  
  
Cloud: STOP!!!   
  
They stop   
  
Cloud takes a sake bottle out  
  
Kuja: Where'd you get that?  
  
Cloud: Never look a gift horse in the foot.  
  
Cloud throws it in the other direction  
  
With a thunk it lands and the ripple goes toward it  
  
Cloud: I wish I could have drank it though........  
  
The worm appears under it  
  
The sake bottle goes under the sand  
  
Cloud: HUH????  
  
Kuja: ....?  
  
Cloud: They're supposed to appear and devour anything and everything!!!  
  
The sake bottle emerges empty  
  
A belch is heard  
  
Kuja: ....Kuja Kuja think Shai-Hulud is drunk of his ass.  
  
Cloud: WRONG FIC!!!  
  
Cloud hits Kuja....but this caused a vibration causing the sandworm to come toward them  
  
Kuja: Nice going, Dumbass!  
  
Cloud: If you weren't so retarded I wouldn't have had to hit you!  
  
The sandworm emerges...only it isn't a sandworm, it's Dexter Holland  
  
Cloud: Dex! What're you doing here? I thought you were with Arisa the Succubus!  
  
Dexter: Taxes came and....she couldn't afford to feed two people. As a slave I couldn't be paid anything...So, I'm FREEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Kuja: What was with the sandworm bit?  
  
Dexter: I wanted booze.  
  
Cloud: Dexter, would you help us again?  
  
Dexter: What is it?  
  
Kuja: A-Ko has been kidnapped!  
  
Dexter thinks hard which IS hard  
  
Dexter: ..........  
  
Cloud and Kuja: ....................  
  
Dexter: ..................  
  
Cloud: It's been 3 1/2 hours! Are you going to decide?  
  
Dexter: Huh? Decide what?  
  
Cloud clenches his teeth  
  
Cloud: Whether or not you will help us save A-Ko!  
  
Dexter: Oh, sure! ......As long as I get paid...  
  
Kuja: Well, what'd'ya want?  
  
Dexter: Sex.  
  
Kuja: Can't help you there. I'm a dude.  
  
Dexter: Porn, then.   
  
Kuja: That, I CAN help you with.  
  
Dexter: Got any....under 18?  
  
Kuja: Of course not! Don't be such a perverted assho--come over here...  
  
They walk off  
  
Cloud: ???  
  
They return and Dexter has a big smile on his face  
  
Cloud: ???????????????????  
  
Dexter: Let's GOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah-heh!!!!!  
  
They continue their trek  
  
Dexter: Where is Kile?  
  
Cloud: At his talk show. Which should end soon.  
  
Kuja: ...WAAAAAAAAAIT!!!!!!!! animemaster works there, right?  
  
Cloud: Yeah...YEAH!  
  
Kuja: That's where he should be!  
  
Cloud: Then that's where we'll go!  
  
Kuja: .......If we knew where we were.  
  
Cloud: Yeah.  
  
_________________________________________________________________________________________________  
AT THE SPIRIT SHOW  
  
Kile is sitting next to a moniter showing the heroes  
  
Kile: This is a lark.   
  
ragnarock: "Lark?"  
  
Kile: Yes, "lark."  
  
Tenchey: Has anyone seen animemaster?  
  
Kile: Oh, sure! Plenty of times!  
  
ragnarock: He means recently...  
  
Kile: Oh. No.   
  
Kile's face is overcome by shadows and his voice becomes raspy, like Grey  
  
Kile: animemaster has vanished. The Bene Tleilax are behind it. And I will not stop until I....  
  
Kile becomes cheerful again  
  
Kile: Until I can get an orange soda!  
  
All but Kile fall over anime style  
  
Tenchey: Or is it "Tenchey Stlye?"  
  
Kile: Ah, so now you advertise on my time! No Card Captor Sakura hentai for a week!  
  
Tenchey: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Tenchey explodes  
  
All is silent  
  
Tenchey comes in through the door  
  
Tenchey: 'Sup?  
  
ragnarock: Uhhhhhhhh.........Let's just watch the morons.  
  
Everyone looks at Kile  
  
Kile: HEY!!! He said it in plural so he meant Dex, Cloud, and Kuja!  
  
ALL: Ooooohhhhhh..........  
  
They all look at the moniter  
  
_________________________________________________________________________________________________  
WITH DEX, CLOUD, AND KUJA  
  
Kuja: I think my ass exploded.  
  
Cloud: Why the hell did you just say that?  
  
Kuja: I thought I'd lighten the mood.  
  
Dexter: Look! Up ahead!  
  
An elevator is up ahead  
  
They run over to it  
  
Cloud: What is an elevator doing in a desert?  
  
Kuja: Never look a--  
  
Kuja and Cloud: ---gift horse in the foot.  
  
Cloud: I know. I know.  
  
They enter the elevator  
  
Kuja: Press a button.  
  
There are 5 buttons, 4 are Down and 1 is Up, but it was forcibly removed  
  
Cloud presses down  
  
They appear in an inferno  
  
Dexter: What the hell?  
  
The Devil wearing a fleece jacket jumps out of nowhere  
  
Satan: That's right! Let me see....Kuja Tribal...  
  
Satan looks in a book  
  
Satan: According to this you've murdered countless and are pure evil.  
  
Kuja: I do my best.  
  
Satan: You're staying in the Underworld. Cloud......This says you are a perverted bastard. You're staying in the Underworld.  
  
Satan flips through the book  
  
Satan: Dexter Holland......you can go.  
  
Cloud: WHAT??????????  
  
The three leave  
  
Cloud: That was weird  
  
Kuja: I'm not taking THAT elevator anymore.  
  
Dexter: Why don't we try this?  
  
_________________________________________________________________________________________________  
AT THE SET  
  
Kile: Try what?  
  
Kuja, Cloud, and Dexter climb out of the moniter  
  
Kile: Bloody Hells?  
  
Kuja: I don't know why that worked.  
  
Dexter: Never look a gift hors--Oh, well, you know..........  
  
Cloud: Where is animemaster?  
  
Kile: That's what I wanna know. He told us that frequency for the monitor then left....with the porn! I'll get him for taking my Love Hina hentai!  
  
Crappy Final Fantays II message box: Kile joins the party!  
  
They leave the set  
  
Cloud: Where to?  
  
A space craft falls down and Grey jumps out of it  
  
Grey: DAMN!!!!!!! Kile?  
  
Kile: Hey, Grey!  
  
Grey: Dude? WASSUP?????!!!!  
  
Kile: WASSUP?????!!!!!!  
  
Grey: WWWWAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSUUUUUUUUUUUPP???????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
The Scary Movie killer comes out of nowhere  
  
Killer: WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP??????????????????????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
He leaves  
  
Grey: Dude--  
  
animemaster: Dude.  
  
Kile: Will you help us find anime.....mast...er?  
  
animemaster leaves just as mysteriously as he came  
  
Grey: Dude! There he went!  
  
They board the "Kile Terro" (Don't know what that is? Read Dead End Stars!)  
  
They fly off  
  
ragnarock: I thought you were a serious character, Grey?  
  
Grey: We are all just marionettes...  
  
Kile: Then where's Lime, Cherry, and Bloodberry?  
  
Grey: Marionettes...not Sabre Marionettes.  
  
Tenchey: Coming soon! Sabre Marionettes X!  
  
Grey: Shut up or I will stab you all with my stick.  
  
ragnarock: We're dudes.  
  
Grey: I mean my Kendo Stick, asslicker!  
  
ragnarock: What a grouch.  
  
Grey: F*** off.  
  
ALL: .......................  
  
They reach a big castle on a dark mountain  
  
Kile: animemaster's Keep....  
  
ragnarock: Home of the mad kidnapper....  
  
Tenchey: He made off with A-Ko! That's all! ONCE!!! He did it ONCE!!!  
  
Kile: Don't listen to him!! He's still under the cactus's powers!  
  
Tenchey: What ARE you talking about?! What cactus??!!  
  
Kile: NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Kile tackles Tenchey  
  
ragnarock: Kile? He...he has a good point....what cactus?  
  
Kile stops beating up Tenchey  
  
Kile: Whoops....wrong story....I was wondering why none of you were calling me Gene.   
  
Kile puts his hand on Grey's shoulder  
  
Kile: Let's go, Melphena.  
  
Grey: Call me that again and I will remove your larynx.  
  
Kile: Please don't! I need that to go to the bathroom!  
  
Grey: Stupid.....Your larynx is what allows you to speak....  
  
Kile: I know!  
  
Grey: ??????????????????????  
  
They land in front of the castle  
  
Kile: Kiros, Ward, let's move out!  
  
Kile gets out and falls over screaming and flailing making explosion sounds  
  
Kile: BUBBA!!!! Dey gots m' legs!! Dey goots me leeeeegs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Grey: Stupid....  
  
Kile drags himself over to Grey and grabs hold of him  
  
Kile: Tell yer girlfrien' I won't be comin' aftah dark no mo'...  
  
Grey: THAT WAS YOU????!!!!  
  
Kile: *Cough* *Cough* You shoulda seen that mouse I hit. *Cough* *Cough*  
  
Kile passes (?) out  
  
Grey: It was "Moose" not "mouse."  
  
Kile jumps up and moonwalks into the castle doing the Michael Jackson yells  
  
Cloud: Kile gets weirder everyday.......  
  
Grey: Ack, Kile germs....  
  
Grey dusts off his grey jacket and follows Kile  
  
Everyone follows  
  
They enter  
  
Kile: Now this looks a job for me so everyobody just follow me, 'cause we need a little Kile Terro, see? 'Cause if feels so empty without KT!  
  
Grey: Shut up, perv.  
  
Kile: Did you know 16 year old porn is legal in Holland.  
  
Noone listens to Kile and they all pass him  
  
Kile follows, lagging behind  
  
They traverse down the dark, dingy corridors  
  
Light music is heard  
  
Cloud: Shh! Do you hear that?  
  
Kile: Egads! It sounds like--!!!!  
  
Kile hops up and down happily  
  
They near the origin of the music and they hear someone singing...  
  
???: I don't know.....if I care...I'm the jerk. LIFE'S NOT FAIR!!! Fighting all the time...this is out of line...SHE LOVES ME NOT!!! LOVES ME NOT!!!!!!  
  
Kile: It's Jacoby Shaddix! AKA Coby Dick!  
  
Kuja: Who?  
  
Kile: From Papa Roach! One of the best rock bands ever! They just recently released their second album. Their last was from 2000.  
  
Kile begins to sound like an announcer  
  
Kile: Now available....INFEST and lovehatetragedy. Located wherever decent music is sold...  
  
Kile goes back to normal  
  
Kile: "Walking Thru Barbed Wire" is cool...  
  
Kuja: Kile? Do you mind?   
  
Jacoby: What are you doing here?  
  
Kuja: Looking for animemaster.  
  
Jacoby: No, I mean "What are you doing here?"  
  
Jacoby points at Tenchey who is groping Videl  
  
ALL: ............  
  
Videl picks Tenchey up, spins him over her head, and tosses him out of a convenietly placed window  
  
Kile looks out of the window  
  
Kile: YO, TENCH!  
  
Sasami transforms into Pretty Sammy and flies to Tenchey's rescue  
  
She puts him back inside, in front of the group  
  
She reverts back to Sasami  
  
Sasami: I earned a night of fun, Kile!  
  
Sasami clutches Kile  
  
Kile: Why me???  
  
Sasami: I like monkey people!  
  
Kile: Then take Tenchey!  
  
Sasami: He's not a monkey person!  
  
Kile: Yes, he is!  
  
Kile pants Tenchey  
  
Sasami sees Tenchey's tail  
  
Sasami: He's a monkey!  
  
Sasami dives onto the pantsless Tenchey  
  
They fall out that conveniently placed window  
  
Kile jumps out the window  
  
Jacoby: What does this have to do anything?  
  
Cloud sits down against the wall and smokes  
  
Cloud: Jes' killin' time..........  
  
4 hours, 39 minutes, and 25 seconds later  
  
Kile comes crawling in through the window  
  
Tenchey and Sasami are already inside  
  
Tenchey: Why the heck did you jump out the window 7349 times?  
  
Kile: Seemed like a--  
  
Kile and Cloud: --good idea at the time...  
  
Cloud: We know. We know.....  
  
Jacoby: ...Are you going to continue your search?  
  
Kile: ......  
  
Grey appears out of nowhere with shaggy hair, covering his Ears and part of his eyes and a beige shirt  
  
Kile: Grey? Where've you been?  
  
Beige: I'm not Grey. I'm Beige.  
  
ALL: ...........Riiiiiiight..............  
  
They press onward, with two new recruits: Sasami and Jacoby  
  
Beige walks alongside Jacoby, then after a moment, Sasami, then Dexter  
  
Beige walks ahead of everyone  
  
Jacoby puts his hand is his pocket  
  
Jacoby: !!! My wallet's gone!  
  
Sasami checks her clothes  
  
Sasami: My Kile pic is gone!  
  
Kile: Your what????  
  
Dexter searches himself  
  
Dexter: He took the bling-bling!  
  
Kile: The bling-bling?  
  
Dexter: Da bling-bling, foo'.  
  
Kile: Damn pickpocket!  
  
They run the way Beige did  
  
They find their stuff on the floor  
  
Beige comes from an adjacent corridor with longer hair and a tan shirt  
  
Kile: Damn you, Beige!  
  
Tan: I'm not Beige! I'm Tan!  
  
ALL: ...........  
  
Jacoby: I'm startin' to get tired of this Mofo.  
  
They continue  
  
Tan marches happily  
  
He falls through a trap door  
  
Dexter: What's with this guy? Damn, it's been a while since I had a line.  
  
They continue forth without going back for him  
  
Kile: The poor little bugger  
  
Mini-Me comes out of nowhere and punches Kile, then runs away  
  
Jacoby: What the hell?  
  
Smoke envelopes Kile quickly  
  
It clears, showing Kile to be much shorter and super distorted  
  
Dexter: Weird...  
  
Chibi Kile: !!! Damn you, Mini-Me!  
  
They continue their trek, with Kile STILL Chibi  
  
Tan comes out of nowhere again with even longer hair and a Green shirt  
  
Chibi Kile: Green? I presume?  
  
Green: Yeah. How'd you know?  
  
Green: After calculating the perimeter of this castle, I've located the room animemaster is in.  
  
ALL: HALLELUJAH!!!  
  
Chibi Kile jumps up happily  
  
Chibi Kile: Little Mofo!  
  
They walk through the door right next to them  
  
animemaster is in the middle of the room, passed out  
  
Green: He dead?  
  
Dexter checks  
  
Dexter: No, just had the hell beaten outta him.  
  
animemaster stands  
  
animemaster yells and a yellow aura surrounds him and his black Heero Yuy hair spikes up blonde  
  
SSJ animemaster: You'll pay!  
  
Chibi Kile: The bastard isn't even a Saiya-jinn!  
  
SSJ animemaster punches Chibi Kile through a wall  
  
Green glows grey  
  
The room is filled with a blinding grey light  
  
When it clears, Grey is standing there with Radditz-like red hair, machines attached to his grey jacket, and mechanical wings  
  
Grey launches an all out offensive  
  
Jacoby and Dexter provide the vocals while Kuja plays drums, Cloud plays bass, and ragnarock plays guitar  
  
Sasami is checking on Chibi Kile  
  
Kalabora is dancing in his own mosh pit with Tenchey  
  
Tenchey: Stop hitting me!  
  
Kalabora hands him a dictionary  
  
Tenchey reads the definition of a mosh pit  
  
Tenchey: MOSH PIT: A dropoff infront of a stage where white guys beat the *sheet* outta each other to rock music and call it dancing.   
  
Jacoby: Biological, spiritual, electrical, digital....S.I.D.!!!!!  
  
Dexter: Kile, Sasami really wants to Fffffffff************* YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Grey continues attacking SSJ animemaster but nothing works  
  
SSJ animemaster fires at him with a "Garlic Gun"  
  
Grey falls to the ground  
  
Chibi Kile steps forward  
  
Chibi Kile: I will fight.  
  
Tenchey: But you're so.....tiny.  
  
Sasami looks at Chibi Kile  
  
Sasami: Did....."it" shrink?  
  
Chibi Kile slaps his head and smoke surrounds him again  
  
He's normal Kile  
  
Kile: Hey, it worked.  
  
Kile gets a serious expression  
  
Kile glows white and strong winds surround him  
  
Tenchey: CORIOLIS WINDS????????????  
  
When the glow disappears, Kile is wearing a long tunic like body clothes, a metal armor that guards his shoulder, it has a large tuft of cloth around the neck hole the keep it from cutting the neck, he has a Cloud like waist guard, keeping his tunic together, his hair is as long as Sephiroth, but still in the thick spikes  
  
Kile steps forward, his shoulders squared, and with his back in a slight backward arch  
  
Kile: My day job....Enigma.....The Savior of the Karan!!!!!!!!  
  
Kile unleashes his own energy attack, the Red Flare  
  
All is red  
  
The red disappears and animemaster is gone and Kile is normal Kile  
  
He turns around, his face stony and hateful  
  
Kile: I......  
  
He becomes cheerful  
  
Kile: --Gotta get some orange soda!  
  
Everyone falls over anime style  
  
Tenchey: Or is it "Tenchey Style?"  
  
They, for no damn good reason are all back at Kile's appartment, cutting Grey Phoenix's hair  
  
Grey Phoenix: I gotta have a good fight!  
  
The hair is cut to Green's length  
  
Green: No! I have experiments!  
  
The hair is cut to Tan's length  
  
Tan: Ah, I'm gonna go play a video game, instead.  
  
The hair is cut to Beige's length  
  
Beige: Why not steal one?  
  
The hair is cut to Grey's length  
  
Kile: Look, Grey, you're all pretty again!  
  
Kile laughs his head off  
  
Grey growls, then rips out Kile's larynx  
  
Kile grows wide eyed, looks at his empty orange soda can, and hops up and down with his legs crossed  
  
Grey: What's with him?  
  
Kile writes something quick and gives it to him  
  
Grey: It says "I need my larynx to go to the bathroom! The door is hooked up with VOICE RECOGNITION!!!!!"  
  
Kile is hopping around the apartment and sits down on the couch and let's out a barely audible sigh  
  
Grey: .......................Do I need to get a cow?  
  
ALL: ?????  
  
animemaster enters wearing a cow costume  
  
He does the monkey dance (Like Jonny Bravo)  
  
animemaster: Do the cow dance, c'mon!  
  
_________________________________________________________________________________________________  
TO BE CONTINUED (A HINT)  
_________________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
PS- Three hours later, Kile's larynx was put back by Dr. Cobalt. 


End file.
